Upon much thought and reflection during my second semester of college, I have realized that my feeling of purpose greatly depends on how much people need me, and how much they want me. I am the kind of person who achieves satisfaction by loving on others.. whether that is accomplished through doing things for them, spending time with them, helping them in spiritual growth, or making them feel loved and cared for.
Sadly, giving up facebook for lent has brought about the realization that I so heavily relied on facebook for these "do-gooder" feelings. Somehow, commenting on others' pages, discussing faith with friends, citing scripture as my statuses, and showing my interest in others' lives gave me a great sense of joy. This saddens me; I wish it wasn't true that facebook has been such a source of happiness in my life. How upsetting.
No matter how discouraging, I am so glad to have found this out now.. I can now rid myself of this idol, and learn, instead, to exhort others on in person, rather than just on the www. I long to be the person that my friends call on when they need a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on, or just a pal to life their spirits. I realize I'm not going to be this person as often as i would like.
But, either way, I ask:
How can I help you?
With love and affection,
your sister,
Lauren
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