Beauty

God, my God, how majestic is your name in all the Earth.

Tonight several big desires have crossed my heart. I watched some DVDs of musicals I've been in, and it just reminded me of how much I truly miss musical theatre. I want to sing, and really.. really sing. I want to fill a character, and be someone else. Portray someone else for an audience of hundreds. What a good feeling.

I remembered how it feels to stand on the stage and forget who you are. When you reach that point that you no longer have to think about what you're doing, or what facial expressions you have, but you just do it. You live it.. because you have truly become the character, even if it is just for a short time. When the set is perfect, and the lights are beating down on you, creating that fourth wall. Making the stage separate from the seats below. You no longer care what the audience thinks of you, yet you depend on the audience for the energy you need to continue on.

And then you dance and sing that last number. The jazzy one that gets everyone's attention. And it just feels right. And you get this high, and there's nothing quite like it. You are so excited and nervous that you want to jump out of your skin, yet you are so perfectly content at the same time.

Well, that's one desire.

But the other one. It's more. I desire to live a life of pure devotion for my Lord. To be 100% in love with him at every moment. I want to praise Him, and be good for Him. I want to be what He wants me to be. I want to be different. I want to change, leap, be abnormal. I hope to be filled with passion and be empowered by the Love of Jesus Christ.

I know God can give me that breathless feeling too. And a whole lot better than the one on the stage too.

Now it is my challenge to myself to give up my desires for my Father. I want my desires to align with His. And no matter what He has me doing, whether it's exactly what I originally wanted, or the last thing I could have possibly imagined, I want to be filled and complete, purely because He is my Father. He provides, and He knows best.

Lead me, Father; make my wants and my desires your own. Merge my thoughts with yours. Make me righteous and pure. Make your daughter exactly the way you want her.

The start of something new

I quoted High School Musical in the title of my first blog. A good move? Probably not, but it was the first thing I thought of. I don't know what this blog will turn out to be. Perhaps I will post a few times, then forget about it. Maybe this will become a daily ritual. Who knows? But, I felt like creating a blog at 12:15 AM when coming across a friend's blog. I was inspired to do something neat. Maybe try to be one of those deep, artsy people. The kind that you notice in the coffee shops (not Starbucks, of course. Way too cliche) sipping her latte and enjoying conversation with a friend. You hear a word or two of her speech, and it sounds the same way she dresses - profound and inspiring. That's not me. It probably never will be; I am much too spontaneous and straight forward to be the type that needs to be interpreted. But, I do hope that this blog will be like that woman. Profound and inspiring. We'll see what comes. The only profound thoughts I have probably center around my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus. I want to be wrapped up in Him, completely engulfed in His goodness. It is my wish that this blog will reflect that. This blog Will or it Won't. It will be Something or it will be Nothing. We'll see what the future holds.